The Five Keys to Mindful Communication

The first key of mindful communication, according to Chapman (2012), is having amindful presence. This means having an open mind, awake body and a tender heart. When you have a mindful presence, you give up expectations, stories about yourself and others, and acting on emotions.

You are fully in the present moment; your communication isn’t focused on the “me” and what the “me” needs, but the we.

Mindful listening is the second key to mindful communication. Mindful listening is about encouraging the other person. This means looking through the masks and pretense and seeing the value in the person and the strengths he or she possesses. It’s looking past the human frailties and flaws that we all have to see the authentic person and the truth in what that person is attempting to say.

Mindful speech, the third key, is about gentleness. Speaking gently means being effective in what you say. It’s about speaking in a way that you can be hard. To be gentle with our speech means being aware of when our own insecurities and fears are aroused to the point we are acting out of fear rather than acceptance.

Practicing self-compassion for our fear, envy, jealousy and self-doubts is more effective than focusing on others as being a threat or attempting to change them. When you use gentle speech, you are communicating acceptance to the other person and saying what is true, not an interpretation or an exaggeration or a minimization.

The key to mindful relationships is unconditional friendliness. Unconditional friendliness means accepting the ebb and flow of relationships. Sometimes you meet new friends, sometimes friends move on, sometimes there is joy and sometimes there is pain. Sometimes you’ll feel lonely, sometimes you’ll feel cherished and connected, and then you’ll feel lonely again.

Unconditional friendliness means that your acceptance of others is not dependent on them staying with you or agreeing with you. You don’t cling to relationships to avoid loss.

Mindful responsiveness is like playfulness.  Playfulness is the openness that you can have when you let go of preconceived ideas and strategies. It’s like creating something new. Imagine two skilled dancers who alternatively lead each other in creating a new dance in every interaction, never doing the same complete dance over and over. They respond in the moment to the message sent by the other. There are no rules or expectations and yet they both bring skillful behavior.

Mindful communication requires practice. If you choose to practice the keys, you might choose to focus on one at a time. Being willing to regulate your emotions is a prerequisite to mindful communication and mindfulness of your emotions is necessary for emotion regulation.

Mindfulness is a core skill for the emotionally sensitive.

 

References

Chapman, Susan Gillis. The Five Keys to Mindful Communication:  Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts and Acceomplish Your Goals. Boston: Shambhala, 2012.

yellow jacket stun gun case for iphone

yellow jacket is a case that transforms the iPhone 4 & 4S into that 650,000-volt stun gun you've always needed.

scheduled to hit the US market in fall 2012 the case is advertised as being able to 
easily stop an aggressive male attacker, and ready for use in less than two seconds. 
its designer seth froom, a former military policeman came up with the product after 
being robbed in his home at gunpoint.

what is the demand for such a hostile product you might ask? well, yellow jacket 
has managed to receive over 100,000 USD worth of backing on the crowd-funding 
website indiegogo which means that there must be quite a few people out there 
who feel the need to transform their phone into a weapon.


detail of the stun gun nodes 

the iPhone's designers could never have conceived half of the the weird and wonderful accessories 
that have been designed for use with the iPhone since its launch, but even in the name of self defense 
a stun gun seems a bit much, doesn't it?

Now You Can Buy a $250,000 Nail Polish

Remember that time when everyone got all freaked out about thatsnakeskin pedicure that cost $300? Well, get ready to completely lose it, because we just got a press release for the “most expensive nail polish in the world.”

That title was previously held by Models Own, which produced a $130,000 bottle (featuring a 24-carat gold, diamond-encrusted lid) back in 2010. However, the self-professed “king of black diamonds,” Azature, has doubled that figure. A bottle of black nail polish containing a whopping 267 carats of black diamonds in the actual polish will go for $250,000. Yikes. You won’t be able to just walk into Duane Reade and buy this sucker, however–only one bottle of the stuff will be produced.

For those of us who can’t afford a quarter of a million dollars for a manicure, Azature is offering a $25 version (see, now doesn’t $25 nail polish sound downright cheap in comparison?) containing one measly black diamond. You’ll be able to pick it up in LA at Fred Segal starting this month.

Estepona Town Hall sacks 176 municipal workers

The news was given on Wednesday by the Councillor for Personnel, Pilar Fernández-Figares Estepona Town Hall has sacked 176 municipal workers. The PP Councillor for Personnel, Pilar Fernández-Figares, announced on Wednesday that the 176 workers are victims of the ERE Employment Regulation which the Town Hall put forward in June. The workers will be compensated with 2.5 million € and they will be given their ‘finiquito payments of 408,000 € between them. Pilar Fernández-Figares said one they were sacked the Town Hall will start to work on a new ‘training program for the reinsertion of the sacked workers’.